Part of that vow you take when you enter the Vajrayana is to never give up on your fellow vajra travelers. I like that, and it’s been very helpful to me. I’ve given up on friends in my life, and it’s never left me anywhere near happy. Ultimately I always end up missing them, since the love I felt for them never dies. I ruined the relationship between myself and my ex-husband by being unkind to him years ago, and he’s the father of my wonderful, beautiful child. Our child. It doesn’t matter what the reasons were—who cares? We wanted different things, that’s all.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately—about how we are abandoned over and over. About how we abandon friends, ex-lovers, family. About how we’ve abandoned our planet. I have. I have to set that right. I’m rebuilding my life right now, so I have a chance to do it differently.